i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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