why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
