i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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