This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
