Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
