he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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