Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize