I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Green mimosas i think yes
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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