its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
