Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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