The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
