I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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