im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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