So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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