How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The feeling are messing with the penis
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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