All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
