I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
