it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
