The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
