I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
