In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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