i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
