Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
