At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
