I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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