The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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