Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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