JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
