Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
