this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
