Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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