Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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