I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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