She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
