I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i think i just lost a toe
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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