Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
