my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize