I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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