My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
