so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
