please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
