I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
