Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
