Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Randomize
