FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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