I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
