why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
