Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
