3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
