i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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