I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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