nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
