She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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