That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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