i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
