I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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