genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
