my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
