the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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