Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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