i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
