suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize