I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize