The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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