New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
